Tag Archives: romance

VALENTINES DAY

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Today marked my aunt and uncle’s 30th Valentine’s Day together. (Way to go guys, I can’t even commit to a sandwich for the duration of lunch!) Today also marked yet another Valentine’s Day which has fallen during a period where I’m single. However, that does not in any way mean that I’ve spent today moping, nor have I taken to social media in a bid to declare my recurring singleton status as I have witnessed so many people do today.

I started my day with a small time-related freakout, wondering at which point in my year I sneezed and completely missed January, before making the calculated decision to give today to myself. Why on earth should anyone out there spend a day intended for the celebration of love, feeling terrible about themselves? It just doesn’t make sense, bubs. Listen to your embarrassing Aunt Alice.

So I stayed in my pyjamas, gathered up the dog for a marathon cuddle and put on a box set I’ve been meaning to finish for three billion months. I proceeded to demolish a pack of Sour Patch Kids and call my good friends at Domino’s. Now, to many that may sound like that a bummer of a day, but to me it was the epitome of self-care. A shower at a temperature deemed unsafe for human habitation and a dance around the living room in my underwear to the cheesiest, most in your face, love related pop-songs. Because let’s face it, what’s a better addition to any day than screaming Whitney Houston at a pitch that only dogs are physically capable of hearing?

We’ve got to stop putting the kind of pressure this holiday brings upon ourselves girlies, it’s a celebration of love and how on earth are we able to commit to loving another human being if we can’t show ourselves a little first. So, let your best friends be your valentine’s, eat your favourite food and worry about the calorie counting another day, watch your favourite shows and sing your best cheesy anthems.

And just in case you need a little push in the right direction, here are a few of my personal unbelievably cheesy faves, which my family have begged me to stop singing three times tonight:

  • Like A Prayer – Madonna
  • Nothing Compares 2 U – Sinead O’Connor
  • Breakfast At Tiffany’s – Deep Blue Something
  • Take My Breath Away – Berlin
  • Hooked On A Feeling – Blue Swede
  • I Will Always Love You – Whitney Houston
  • Love Is All Around – Wet Wet Wet
  • Everything I Do, I Do It For You – Bryan Adams
  • Eternal Flame – The Bangles
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DEAR DIARY: WELCOME TO THE MOST AWKWARD MOMENT OF MY LIFE

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Lately, I’ve been feeling just that little bit shit.

Stay with me here, I know this post’s coming across as a bit of a bummer, but trust me, you will get your gloriously awkward ending.

Now, I firmly believe that everyone should have a thinking spot. A place that you can take yourself off to when life just gets a bit too much and give things a good old mull over. So, that’s exactly where I went.

After a while of being tucked up on hidden patch, of what is already a relatively secluded beach – Aside from the odd dog walker, who lets face it, merely adds an element of animal therapy to an already pleasant half hour – scribbling what little wisdom nuggets I have left into my pretty patterned notebook, I quickly realised that this situation was, in fact nearing fatal and I could not resolve it on my own.

So, I called for back up.. My best friend. She has to, by law, put up with my monthly mood swing, right?

And there I sat, contently whining about life and all it entails, while my furry baby snuffled her way around every individual pebble and attempted to take on a flock of six mutant sized seagulls.

It was then I glanced up and noticed a couple making their loved-up way onto the middle of the rocks, a mere thirty foot away from me. – Cue my regaling my best friend with my cynicism surrounding romance and all it contains. – So, I made the conscious decision to gather myself up and leave their little love-bubble untainted by my sad Susan aura of the day.

Did he, or did he not, at this exact moment drop to one knee with a surprise photographer blocking my only exit?

Of course, he did.

There were tears, loving embraces, loved ones bursting out with balloons and a small photoshoot on the rocks to follow.

Stage right? My good self, looking like I had crawled out from under a bridge. I’m talking all kinds of glamorous. (Trackies, spotty face and huge top knot.) All the while wrestling an old beach-found Space Raiders packet from my furbaby’s jaw.

The phrase “pulling an Alice”, which has sadly become a frequent amongst my nearest and dearest ones, now holds a whole new meaning.

… I’ll see myself out. – Much like I eventually did from that beach.

THE LIFE AND DEATH OF ROMANCE

To have grown up into a culture where terms such as ‘side chick’ are commonplace, I can’t help but feel horrendously out of place. Growing up, I was the typical delusional Disney child who’d been convinced by our good friend Walt that she’d grow up to one day fall in love with her handsome Prince Charming and they’d ride off into the sunset together, having overcome some great and torturous evil.

The reality? Not so much.

Twenty-first-century dating, is no walk in the park. All the romantic, nervous and quaint ideals that were once surrounding the act of “courting” someone are now a distant memory, and what we’re left with is a distinct lack of morals, with a side order of wanting your cake and eating it too. Intimate, romantic dining has now been replaced with sloppy, drunken nightclub settings. Beautifully composed love songs, have now been replaced with the unbelievably sexist musings of Robin Thicke. Eyes meeting across the room, has now been replaced with a ‘swipe right’ on Tinder. Forgive me if I sound outdated, but when did we let romance die?

At which point did we lose the social structure of meeting, courting, dating, relationship? Everybody knew where they stood. Nobody was left tentatively awaiting a text message during their walk of shame the next day and nor were people left pondering, scrutinising each and every communication from their date, frantically rationalising that ‘seen’ button along the way.

What changed? At which point did we decide to drop the 1950s style courting rituals, for the 2000s style ‘quantity over quality’ mantra.

And, more importantly, how do we get it back?