DEAR DIARY: WELCOME TO THE MOST AWKWARD MOMENT OF MY LIFE

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Lately, I’ve been feeling just that little bit shit.

Stay with me here, I know this post’s coming across as a bit of a bummer, but trust me, you will get your gloriously awkward ending.

Now, I firmly believe that everyone should have a thinking spot. A place that you can take yourself off to when life just gets a bit too much and give things a good old mull over. So, that’s exactly where I went.

After a while of being tucked up on hidden patch, of what is already a relatively secluded beach – Aside from the odd dog walker, who lets face it, merely adds an element of animal therapy to an already pleasant half hour – scribbling what little wisdom nuggets I have left into my pretty patterned notebook, I quickly realised that this situation was, in fact nearing fatal and I could not resolve it on my own.

So, I called for back up.. My best friend. She has to, by law, put up with my monthly mood swing, right?

And there I sat, contently whining about life and all it entails, while my furry baby snuffled her way around every individual pebble and attempted to take on a flock of six mutant sized seagulls.

It was then I glanced up and noticed a couple making their loved-up way onto the middle of the rocks, a mere thirty foot away from me. – Cue my regaling my best friend with my cynicism surrounding romance and all it contains. – So, I made the conscious decision to gather myself up and leave their little love-bubble untainted by my sad Susan aura of the day.

Did he, or did he not, at this exact moment drop to one knee with a surprise photographer blocking my only exit?

Of course, he did.

There were tears, loving embraces, loved ones bursting out with balloons and a small photoshoot on the rocks to follow.

Stage right? My good self, looking like I had crawled out from under a bridge. I’m talking all kinds of glamorous. (Trackies, spotty face and huge top knot.) All the while wrestling an old beach-found Space Raiders packet from my furbaby’s jaw.

The phrase “pulling an Alice”, which has sadly become a frequent amongst my nearest and dearest ones, now holds a whole new meaning.

… I’ll see myself out. – Much like I eventually did from that beach.

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